I've never been a fan of porn. My first experience of it was at a friends' house when I was about 15 and it was clearly something he'd found in his dad's stash, being set in the 1970's, the decade that depilation forgot; I'm all in favour of women choosing to grow body hair however they like, but did anyone ever naturally grow body hair like '70's porn actors and actresses? I still have horrid visions of evil grinning directors covering their actresses' bodies with Miracle Hair-Gro to achieve the results I saw on that video. For the first time in my life the phrase 'pubic afro' entered my head to describe what was going on down there. And the man was just unfeasibly huge. Do men watch porn to get aroused, I wondered, or just to be made to feel woefully inadequate and a little zoned out by watching a man with a penis the size of Gloucester rummage around in the pubic thicket of an unnaturally hirsute actress, both appallingly overdubbed with unexcited voices breathing awesome, Shakespeare-esque dialogue such as, "Hey baby, do you like my cock?" and, "Mmm, it's so big," and all set to the background of spaced out, badly played, wah-wah infested pseudo-funk muzak. It didn't exactly make me want to wank. In fact, it made me want to scrub my brains with Brillo pads until the memory was gone forever.
Nonetheless, I have made an effort over the years to at least try and see what the fuss is about. These efforts are almost always short lived because frankly the porn I've seen mostly doesn't excite me in the least. Great, yet another bubbleheaded plastic woman looking surprised that she has tits. Whoopie fucking do. NOT EXCITING. Woman inserting a half full bottle of Sauvignon Blanc up herself whilst on a jetty and being watched by half a dozen leering inbred South American fishermen. NOT EXCITING. Japanese girls farting in each others' faces and pretending to like it. NOT EXCITING. In fact, about the only branch of porn I ever found vaguely fun was amateur porn, because the people involved are clearly having a whale of a time and aren't doing it for money / coke / heroin / fame (delete as appropriate). The downside of it is that you have to sift through thousands of videos and photos of 68 year olds flashing their tits (by lifting their skirts) and BBWs (big beautiful women, apparently) to find something that even begins to make the downstairs stir, and frankly, I'm not that committed to finding pictures to wank over to make that kind of Herculean effort.
The one thing about porn that truly disgusts me and probably the main reason I am put off by it, is the horrifically degenerate misogynistic attitude towards women portrayed in it. Visit a porn website and read the blurb that accompanies their demo videos. No? Let me burn my eyes and scar my soul and do it for you. This blurb is from a gangbang video, I shit you not, it is 100% real:
"For trashy Julie Night, one salty beefstick is for amateurs and two hot throbbing cocks are still too few! She needs at least THREE cum-trumpets swordfighting for a crack at that spicy tuna! See the pudgy-pussied fuck princess take a punishing poking from three preposterously pumped pricks! Watch a battery of logjamming cocks round-robin her from pie-hole to fishin’ hole to heigh-ho and back again on a carousel of carnality with a triple cum-covered climax that leaves her looking like the last whore to leave a clambake! Towel please!"
Oh, where do I start? 'Spicy tuna'? Really? 'Pudgy-pussied fuck princess'? I get the distinct feeling that the writer of this blurb doesn't pick up many women in real life. Imagine the scene, it's a bar somewhere, a pair of eyes meet over their respective drinks. She sits next to him and smiles, and he jams his hand down his pants and says, "Hey, you skanky fuck-pig, how about we go someplace so I can jam my lusty cum-trumpet in your spicy tuna?" And believe me, this is only the tip of an oderous iceberg made entirely of testosterone bullshit. A lot of the clips involve slapping, choking, and spitting on the women, whilst calling them 'filthy sluts' and 'shitty whores' and a variety of even less pleasant names. Great attitude to have there for 50% of the population of the world. How do these people get by in real life? Do they all live in special Porno Communes inhabited by brainless cavemen with cocks that trail on the floor with their knuckles and lobotomised women programmed to look longingly as three hard dicks are jammed in her arse at once? Every so often a producer will go in and choose the actors / actresses like people choose lobsters from the tank in a seafood restaurant. Oh wait, I think I just described LA.
But what genuinely frightens me is how much of this misogynistic shit is internalised by the inevitable tide of hormonally wired teenage boys who find this crap on the web. When you're young, impressionable, and inexperienced, you pick up tips from what you see in films, what you read in books, and what you find on the net. Do we really want a generation of teenage boys growing up thinking that women are basically nothing more than 'fuck-bags', and wondering why they are getting slapped when they start pinching their dates' breasts hard enough to bruise and then spitting on their faces?
Despite not liking porn myself, I do wish that people could just make porn that was nice to women instead of having to humiliate and degrade them in such revolting paleolithic ways. If a generation of kids learn how to treat women from internet porn, the human race may well become extinct in the next century unless someone starts to produce something better...
And toast? I was eating toast whilst writing this. Buttery toast. NYOM.
Nonetheless, I have made an effort over the years to at least try and see what the fuss is about. These efforts are almost always short lived because frankly the porn I've seen mostly doesn't excite me in the least. Great, yet another bubbleheaded plastic woman looking surprised that she has tits. Whoopie fucking do. NOT EXCITING. Woman inserting a half full bottle of Sauvignon Blanc up herself whilst on a jetty and being watched by half a dozen leering inbred South American fishermen. NOT EXCITING. Japanese girls farting in each others' faces and pretending to like it. NOT EXCITING. In fact, about the only branch of porn I ever found vaguely fun was amateur porn, because the people involved are clearly having a whale of a time and aren't doing it for money / coke / heroin / fame (delete as appropriate). The downside of it is that you have to sift through thousands of videos and photos of 68 year olds flashing their tits (by lifting their skirts) and BBWs (big beautiful women, apparently) to find something that even begins to make the downstairs stir, and frankly, I'm not that committed to finding pictures to wank over to make that kind of Herculean effort.
The one thing about porn that truly disgusts me and probably the main reason I am put off by it, is the horrifically degenerate misogynistic attitude towards women portrayed in it. Visit a porn website and read the blurb that accompanies their demo videos. No? Let me burn my eyes and scar my soul and do it for you. This blurb is from a gangbang video, I shit you not, it is 100% real:
"For trashy Julie Night, one salty beefstick is for amateurs and two hot throbbing cocks are still too few! She needs at least THREE cum-trumpets swordfighting for a crack at that spicy tuna! See the pudgy-pussied fuck princess take a punishing poking from three preposterously pumped pricks! Watch a battery of logjamming cocks round-robin her from pie-hole to fishin’ hole to heigh-ho and back again on a carousel of carnality with a triple cum-covered climax that leaves her looking like the last whore to leave a clambake! Towel please!"
Oh, where do I start? 'Spicy tuna'? Really? 'Pudgy-pussied fuck princess'? I get the distinct feeling that the writer of this blurb doesn't pick up many women in real life. Imagine the scene, it's a bar somewhere, a pair of eyes meet over their respective drinks. She sits next to him and smiles, and he jams his hand down his pants and says, "Hey, you skanky fuck-pig, how about we go someplace so I can jam my lusty cum-trumpet in your spicy tuna?" And believe me, this is only the tip of an oderous iceberg made entirely of testosterone bullshit. A lot of the clips involve slapping, choking, and spitting on the women, whilst calling them 'filthy sluts' and 'shitty whores' and a variety of even less pleasant names. Great attitude to have there for 50% of the population of the world. How do these people get by in real life? Do they all live in special Porno Communes inhabited by brainless cavemen with cocks that trail on the floor with their knuckles and lobotomised women programmed to look longingly as three hard dicks are jammed in her arse at once? Every so often a producer will go in and choose the actors / actresses like people choose lobsters from the tank in a seafood restaurant. Oh wait, I think I just described LA.
But what genuinely frightens me is how much of this misogynistic shit is internalised by the inevitable tide of hormonally wired teenage boys who find this crap on the web. When you're young, impressionable, and inexperienced, you pick up tips from what you see in films, what you read in books, and what you find on the net. Do we really want a generation of teenage boys growing up thinking that women are basically nothing more than 'fuck-bags', and wondering why they are getting slapped when they start pinching their dates' breasts hard enough to bruise and then spitting on their faces?
Despite not liking porn myself, I do wish that people could just make porn that was nice to women instead of having to humiliate and degrade them in such revolting paleolithic ways. If a generation of kids learn how to treat women from internet porn, the human race may well become extinct in the next century unless someone starts to produce something better...
And toast? I was eating toast whilst writing this. Buttery toast. NYOM.
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